So Far....

so far junior year isn't happening as it's supposed to be. i mean i enjoy it but at the same time i'm not myself. all because of this stupid problem i mean it's always my luck. anyway, junior year isn't actually that bad so far. Teachers seem pretty cool but the classes are so blahhh. Mr. Reger-English 10, Mrs. Campbell-creative writing. Best classes and best teachers. 6th and 7th period.  Two best classes are at the end of the day. I have friends in every class and a decent amount of people to sit with at lunch. amazing :) broadway is a good school but i have ONE more year to go and i'm done i can't wait. Like i said before, i can't believe i'm already in my junior year. Time has been flying by too fast. I mean, i can't believe it. Seriously, it's stunning to me. It don't feel like long ago i was only in 5th grade, going to the middle school. Now i'm in the final turns of the race to finish high school.Final laps and i can't wait to cross that finish line. I'll know i accomplished something really big in my life and i'm really excited, only to be able to get my diploma and realize i did it. I'm done with it. Graduating is really all a kid wants but when you finally do you sorta miss it because it went by so fast. I believe that too. i also believe, "school may be hard, but it's easier than growing up."  100% i agree with that. At least in school you get breaks and you have people there to help you but in life it always seems like you're on your own. That's one reason i'm scared to graduate but at the same time, my life is finally going to start. wow. weird.

Junior Year 2010-2011

so tonite was the open house. i met my teachers and learned more about the class. it seems so impossible that i'm a junior. my sophomore year flew by and it's just mind-boggling that school is startin again.

This year 2010-2011 i think is guna b n ok year....i hope it can be a great year. My teachers seemed good but one, i don't think i'm going to like her. I'm going to have too buckle down alot more this year and it's going to suck . I don't know how i'm goin to handle this year and a graduated boyfriend. i'm not going to lose him. I know school should be more important and it kinda is but still....he had to graduate the same year we met :( lol. anyway, i don't know how this year is going to be but i think once i get into the middle of it i'll get the hang of everything and it will be good. I'm scared idk y lol. I'm in the JUNIOR year of my high school year and it seems so impossible to me. like i still can't wrap my brain around it. Just like 2 more years and i graduate.

there are things that take forever to sink it and i know this definitley will. my freshman and sophmore year just flew by ahha. ok i'm going to stop talkin about that and make my predictions for this year.

I'm going to get caught in drama :/
i'm going to have a great week
i'm going to have a bad week
some one is going to start rumors

i know these things are going to happen cuz they always do lol. i just hope the last few years of my high school year can be good :D

Judging Someone

so i suscribed to someone on youtube. Nichole337. she has down syndrome but she sings. she's not bad. i like listeinin' 2 her sing cuz i think it's adorable. until i look at the comments. they're horrible. i do not understand at all why people would tease someone for something they can't help. i'm a nice person. i don't like judging anyone because i understand we're supposed to be different but we're all people and we all have feelings. The one's who act big and bad and make others look up to them, are the ones who are really insecure. I don't get it though. I mean, those comments seriously made me wish i could do something i mean i know i'll probably never meet those people but it irritates me. i've been teased bascially all my life and i've grown used to it well sort of. i've had to deal with a lot of pain and i think that's what makes me not do it to others. Nobody deserves to be made fun of. We're all different but the same and red is the only color in our viens.I  wish no one had to be teased because at the time the teaser or bully might not think about it but teasing can cause sucide, cutting, and emotional problems for someone. It's more than just words. Some people really do take it to heart and in the end they cut, or kill themselves which is wrong. The person that teased then decides to feel bad about it, i wish it would stop. I wish i could do something about it but i wouldn't know where to begin. There is NO excuse for someone to be teased. So they're not model size, so they're not popular, or megan fox pretty but that does NOT mean they're NOT human or don't have feelings because everyone does. Some people take out their problems on others. Makin others feel bad boosts their confidence and makes them feel better but it will never really solve what's bothering them.  I go to Nichole337s new videos and it dont take long 4 a lot of comments to be on there. They just keep gettin' worst and it sucks for me cuz i can't say anything to all those people. Teasing/Bullying is NOT a joke and i don't think some people understand that, but i'm smart enough too. I don't like to sit back and watch other people get teased, i like being able to say something. Even if i don't know them, i'm going to watch out for them. It may be joking for you, but to that person it could lead to the end of their lives so watch what you say, because in the end, it's going to turn around and bite you.

my future

the other day i was tellin' jon that this year i really needed to focus so the year after durin' my senior year i can graduate. i've never really put much effort in2 school but it's my last 2 years and i need to start focusing. i'm not worried about my future but i'm also not that sure about it.
i don't know where i'm goin' in my life; it's not that i'm lost it's just my compass hasn't pointed in that direction yet. it just keeps spinning and spinning. until it does finally stop i'm just goin to follow where my heart tells me to go. i'm a follower not a leader, i just want to have a bright future ahead even if i'm not the brightest person.
there are many things i know i want to do with my life. the only two that really gets me is a poet and a singer. animal cop i pretty much had to cross off my list cause i know i'll never get there.
my future isn't bright, but it's not dull, i can still see a little bit of a shine. i've always been the crazy, wild, not caring kind of girl but i'm smart enough to know when i need to start finally settling down. i don't like bein mature but it's something inside me that clicks and makes me act it.

even though my compass is still spinning and spinning, whatever direction it stops, i'm sure it's goin to point me where i belong(:

Summer

the school year of 2009-2010 is finally over. the drama, the homework, the detention and waking up early.
am i happy? yes and no.
it's not that i hated school but i'm not a morning person. i love waking up at 12:30 in the afternoon and just entertaining myself.
no because the fact all my friends were there. the guy i love was there. he's a senior and he's graduating, it's going to hurt not being able to see him everyday next year but the times i get to see him during the summer will make up for it. <3
my favorite summer has been 2009. i don't know why exactly but they are days i'd love to relive. though a lot of them caused me pain, it got me to where i am now. i'm not lost in life, i'm just not sure where i'm going yet. summer is the one time i don't have to hide. i can be who i am. i don't have no dress code. i can stay up as long as i want and wake up as late as i want. i'll spend time with my best friends and him<3.
my pool parties are one thing i look forward to and the fairs. i love them<3
the fairs are probably my favorite part. i can get away from my parents hang out with my friends and sometimes i can make new friends, i have before. :)
summer days are the best days of my life and i plan to enjoy them as much as i can<3

drama

everyone hates it. but i'll admit i secretley enjoy it. i do hate it but i also like going through it cuz it only just makes me stronger. life is full of drama, so are the people in my life. you may say your life will never be hectic, or crazy but that's where your wrong. i thought the same thing. i came to high school and that's where the drama began 4 me. it seems to me though that the drama starts more near the end of the year before summer break than it does in the first few days. the only reason i enjoy it is because i can get my points across. i don't often hold back to what i'm saying and when i'm giving a reason to say it then i'm going to. no one really seems to understand what drama really does but i think i do. i see past the big things and i notice the little things. i'm very philisophical about alota things and i love it. i make up my own quotes, mottos, and rules 4 me to live by. no one else does. drama, all it does it makes you stronger. it helps you face everything that's going to get thrown your way. you learn things about yourself that you never knew before. high school is where the major drama begins, sure high school can be pretty cool sumtimes but wen i have to sit and kno the next day things are goin 2 happen thats where i start losin interest. though other people dispise it and wish it wud end, i enjoy it, praise it, and hope more comes my way (:

Why Do We Have Titles?

titles for sections on papers, and websites are way different then the titles we have in society. Especially in school. Whats the point of having titles? We're all different, we're indivduals we can't be put into a group. God made us with different personalities and different life styles. Just because you're friends and think you have things in common well that means nothng. You're different from your very best friend. There is no one on earth like you. People who group other people probably just do it because they don't want to be grouped. The people who act bigger or better than everyone else is the people who are really hiding behind their insecurties. I don't want to be grouped. I want to be known as an indivudual because what people think of me is the last thing on my mind. Don't like the way i act? well you can bite me because i'm not going to change who i am just to please you. I can't be catagorized, i can't be given a title. So you may believe i can be put into a group but you're wrong. All the people "grouping" others have their own little group, even if they only have one thing in common. They're all the same scared, teasing, insecure people. Go ahead and try to lable me you'll get it all wrong. You have to truly know the inside of me to group me not just judge by the outside. (: